Finding out you are pregnant is one of those moments that you will never forget, especially the first pregnancy. I have been a mom over 12 years but I can still remember the time I saw two pink lines and the power of the positive pregnancy test!
Often us seasoned moms forget about that time when our life forever changed. We find it east to complain about the daily struggles of mom life…making lunches for years on end, potty training, not sleeping, sibling rivalry…the list goes on. We often forget that heart wrenching moment when we found out we were going to be a mom.
I got a reminder of that time recently when a few women at work were talking about our periods (I know kind of weird), and one states that her period is 4 days late and she is trying to get pregnant. She also stated that she is 32 years old and was told she would never be able to get pregnant because she had endometriosis. She hadn’t taken a test yet, because she didn’t want to jinx it. Needless to say, we talked her in to taking a test at work (we work in a hospital, so they are readily available). We got busy and forget about it but when we all got to sit again, we were like “so?…” And she just burst into a huge smile and starts to well up with tears. Two pink lines! She said her heart was pounding, she felt so excited that she didn’t know what to do. She threw out the Pepsi she was drinking and started asking us moms what she needs to do. She wanted to call her husband and mom, but we told her probably not recommended since it was 2 am. She also went on to doubt if she should tell anyone at all. What if something happened? Her reactions, emotions and questions took me right back to the day when I saw two pink lines.
I was 27 years old, and at work too, in Newport Beach, California. It was the first month we tried to get pregnant and because I thought it was going to take months, I didn’t really think about it. Something felt different so I decided to just take a test. I remember standing there staring faint pink line started to form, my heart started to pound. I could not believe it! How could it have been so easy? I was working at the time in a surgery center and saw women going under in vitro everyday, that getting pregnant the natural way, seemed impossible. I could barely think straight. I was so happy, so shocked.
We did everything we thought was right that pregnancy. I went to the doctor, ate healthy, and took care of myself. We didn’t tell anyone till after the 12 week mark because we thought we were out of the danger zone. I had two normal ultrasounds and had a healthy baby growing. I’ll never forget the day it all changed. I had the worst PMS attack ever, I remember sitting in the closet crying over nothing. I didn’t know it then, but that was the day my baby died, sending my hormones into a nosedive. I was 18 weeks along. A few days later, to be confirmed by my doctor. Cystic hygroma they said. My life was forever changed.
The next pregnancy, I was extremely nervous. I was still excited to be pregnant but very cautious. I did not want the heartbreak again. I did things differently the second time around. I told people right away I was pregnancy. I felt like a life was created and even though it may not survive, it needs to be acknowledged and celebrated. I also knew that I needed the support. I needed people to encourage and love on me. That is my advice for people, don’t feel like you have to wait to tell people. There are never any guarantees, even after the first trimester, even after birth, even after kindergarten. Life is very fragile, always. New life should always be celebrated for it is a gift from God.
Happy ending to that story, I went on to have three beautiful, healthy, smart and wonderful kids, all with in 4 years! It brought my husband I closer together an it forever changed my life. I would not take it away for anything. God has a plan and a reason. For I know the plan I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11.
Back to the present day, a thought crossed my mind when I was thinking about this woman and the new life she had growing in her. I was never going to feel that again. I am 41 and not trying to get pregnant, nor do I want more children, even if it was feasible. But that feeling of knowing you are pregnant, it just the best. It is like of all the things that are wrong with this world, somethings are so right. But, that chapter in my life is over. I cannot say that I don’t feel a little jealous when I see a glowing pregnant woman but I am ok with never getting pregnant again. I am so grateful for all God has done for us, blessing us with three children. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
So when you are feeling worn down from being a parent. Feeling like it is groundhogs day, every single day. Take a moment to remember the day you found out you were pregnant. The joy, the excitement, the anticipation. And relish that feeling. God is good.
Now, go do some laundry!
What is your pregnancy story?